How Autism May Affect Sexuality

How Autism May Affect Sexuality

Just like anyone else, autistic people have many different feelings about love, relationships, and sex.  Some autistic people are interested in dating and romantic relationships, while others are not.  Some enjoy sexual relationships, and others do not. There is no one “right” way to experience sexuality.

Research shows that autism can affect sexuality in several ways.  Learning about these differences can help autistic people, families, educators, and healthcare providers better understand and support healthy relationships.

Many Autistic People Want Relationships

One common myth is that autistic people do not want close relationships.  Research shows that this is not true – many autistic people want friendships, romantic partners, and loving relationships.

However, building relationships can sometimes be harder because autism affects social communication, meaning that understanding body language, knowing how to start conversations, and recognizing another person’s feelings may take more effort.  These challenges can make it harder to meet people and build close relationships.

Sexual Orientation Can Be More Diverse

Several studies have found that autistic people are more likely to identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or another LGBTQIA+ identity than non-autistic people.  Some autistic people identify as heterosexual, but a significant number do not.  Additionally, some experience little or no sexual attraction and identify as asexual.  Others may take longer to understand their own sexual orientation.  Every person’s identity is unique, and there is no single way that autistic people experience attraction.

Gender Identity

Research has also found that autistic people are more likely to experience gender dysphoria than people who are not autistic.  Gender dysphoria is the distress that someone may feel when their gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth.  Not every autistic person experiences gender dysphoria, but research suggests it occurs more often in autistic people than in the general population.  Healthcare providers can help by listening without judgment and providing respectful, supportive care.

Sexual Desire Is Different for Everyone

People experience sexual desire, also called libido, in many different ways.  Research suggests that autistic women, on average, are more likely to report lower sexual desire than non-autistic women.  They are also more likely to identify as asexual or as part of the LGBTQIA+ community.  At the same time, some studies have found that autistic women report more frequent sexual fantasies than women without autism.  This reminds us that thoughts, attraction, and sexual behavior do not always match.  Every person’s experiences are different.

Sensory Differences Can Affect Intimacy

Many autistic people experience the world differently because of differences in sensory processing.  For some people, bright lights, loud sounds, certain smells, or particular types of touch may feel overwhelming.  During intimate moments, these sensory experiences may make it harder to relax or enjoy physical closeness.  Others may enjoy certain types of touch, but not others.  Some may prefer a quiet room with dim lighting, while others may need to reduce distractions before feeling comfortable.  Talking openly with a partner about sensory preferences can help create a more comfortable and enjoyable experience for both people.

Learning About Sex

Everyone deserves accurate information about relationships and sexuality. Unfortunately, many autistic adolescents do not receive sex ed in a way that matches their learning style or answers their questions.  Lessons may move too quickly or depend on understanding social hints that are difficult for some autistic students.  As a result, some young people look for information from friends, social media, or the internet instead.  While some online information is helpful, many sources contain inaccurate information or unrealistic ideas about relationships and sex.  Learning from trusted adults, healthcare providers, teachers, or reliable educational websites can help autistic people make informed decisions and build healthy relationships.

Every Person Is Different

Autism does not determine a person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or interest in relationships.  Some autistic people enjoy dating, while others do not. Some have active sex lives, and others are asexual.  Some identify as LGBTQIA+, while others identify as strictly heterosexual.

The most important thing is that every autistic person deserves respect, accurate information, and the opportunity to build healthy relationships if they choose.  Understanding how autism may affect sexuality helps families, educators, and healthcare providers offer better support. With acceptance, education, and open communication, autistic people can make informed choices about relationships and intimacy throughout their lives.

Article By: The Autism ToolKit

Sources

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Bejerot and Eriksson, 2014.  Sexuality and gender role in autism spectrum disorder: a case control study.  Sexuality and gender role in autism spectrum disorder: a case control study – PubMed

Bush et al., 2021.  Brief Report: Asexuality and Young Women on the Autism Spectrum.  Brief Report: Asexuality and Young Women on the Autism Spectrum – PubMed

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