Talking to Your Child’s Doctor About Autism Evaluation

Talking to Your Child’s Doctor About Autism Evaluation

Talking to your child’s doctor about autism can sometimes feel frustrating.  Many doctors know a lot about autism and listen carefully to parents, but not all do.  If you feel like your child’s doctor is not taking your concerns seriously, there are some things you can try.

Lead with the Facts

One of the first signs of autism is delays in development.  Doctors often check for delays by looking at whether children have reached certain developmental milestones.   Developmental milestones are skills that most kids can do at a certain age.  For example, pointing to objects, smiling, and saying short phrases are all developmental milestones.  If a child reaches these milestones, it usually means that they are developing on track.  However, missing milestones can signal a developmental delay, which is common in autism.

One way to get your doctor’s attention is to talk about which milestones your child has or has not reached. Since doctors use a lot of data to make decisions, bringing this information to your appointments can help them understand your concerns better.  It can also help you learn more about your child.

To see what developmental milestones your child has reached, you can look at milestone checklists on the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) Developmental Milestones website.

You can also track your child’s progress using the CDC’s Milestone Tracker App or printed checklists.  Fill these out and bring them to your child’s next appointment.

Ask for a Compromise

If your child’s doctor is unsure about doing a referral for testing, you can ask them to do something easier – an M-CHAT-R/F screen.  The M-CHAT-R/F is a short test that helps doctors look for signs of autism.

Doctors usually give this test at children’s 18- and 24-month checkups, but it can be done anytime between 16 and 30 months.

• If the test shows a moderate risk, the doctor should follow up with more questions.
• If the test shows a high risk, the doctor should refer your child for a full autism evaluation and early intervention services.

The test is quick and easy to do, and it can be an important first step toward getting your child the help they need.

Talk About the Consequences of the Child’s Behavior

When doctors are trying to decide whether or not a child has a condition, one thing that they think about is whether the condition is affecting the patient’s life or the patient’s family life.  To help doctor understand your concerns about your child, it can be useful to write down your child’s behaviors and how they affect daily life.

For example:

• If your child only eats certain foods, explain how this creates stress for your family or costs extra money.
• If your child cries every time you leave them at daycare, explain how this makes you late for work.
• If your child ignores other children, talk about how they can’t make friends at school.

This shows that the behaviors you are describing aren’t just a “quirk” – they have real effects on your child and family life.

Be Your Child’s Advocate

It can feel discouraging when no one seems to take your concerns seriously, but it is very important to keep pushing for your child.  If a child has been diagnosed with autism, they can get certain early intervention services that can help them build language skills and social skills.  The earlier the child starts those services, the better off they will likely be in the long run.

If you feel like your doctor is not acting on your concerns, there are other avenues for testing that you could try.  What many parents don’t know is that children who may have developmental delays (including autism) have legal rights under a federal law called the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

IDEA requires schools to evaluate children (from birth through age 21) who show signs of a disability and provide them with services if needed.  To get help through the schools:

1. Visit your school district’s website and look for the Special Education department.  Find out who is the Special Education Administrator for your school district.  (If you have trouble finding the Special Education Administrator, you can usually call your local school or school system’s special education office and ask for the administrator’s contact information.)
2. Contact the Special Education Administrator in writing (a letter or an email).  Tell them your child’s name, grade, and explain your concerns.  Clearly ask for an evaluation.
3. The school will have 14 days to respond to your request.

As an alternative, if your child is under three years of age, you can contact Babies Can’t Wait (BCW).  BCW is a service operated by the state of Georgia that seeks out children showing signs of disability and arranges testing and treatment for them.  To get help through BCW:

1. Fill out the Screening and Referral Form on the BCW website.
2. Send to form (email, fax, the mail, or in person) to your local BCW office.  To find your local office, go to the “DPH Women and Children Service Locator”
3. When BCW receives your referral form, they will set up an intake meeting for your child.

Special Thanks to Dr. Andrew Benesh of The Mercer School of Medicine’s Marriage and Family Therapy Program for his guidance on this article!

By: McKenzie Clark and The Autism ToolKit

Sources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025, April 15). Accessing services for autism spectrum disorder. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/treatment/accessing-services.html#:~:text=If%20you%20think%20your%20child%20may%20have%20a%20developmental%20delay,can%20ask%20for%20an%20evaluation.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025, January 17). CDC’s Milestone Tracker App. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones-app.html

https://www.p2pga.org/roadmap/education/eligibility/

Statute and Regulations

https://www.parentcenterhub.org/wp-content/uploads/repo_items/gr3.pdf