Why Extra Discipline Won’t “Fix” Autistic Children? 

Why Extra Discipline Won’t “Fix” Autistic Children? 

There are unique challenges that come with raising and discipline autistic children. Discipline is a key elements in ensuring a child’s well-being and safety. When implemented correctly, discipline can provide structure, security and sense of predictability for autistic children. However, it is crucial to find the right balance, as extra discipline can be counterproductive.

Parents may not fully understand how autistic kids process sensory information which many lead to problem behaviors such as meltdowns or avoidance. Some parents may also feel that their autistic child’s behavior reflects poorly on their parenting, which may lead to them feeling pressured to correct these behaviors to fit societal norms and expectations. However, over-disciplining autistic children overlooks the child’s unique needs and can also cause more stress and harm to the child.

Pitfalls of Over-Disciplining Autistic Children

Disciplining autistic children requires a careful approach to avoid negative consequences. Over-disciplining can lead to frustration for both the parent and the child, resulting in increased confusion and misunderstandings. When a child does not fully understand the reasons for discipline, it can heighten anxiety and stress, and negatively impact their self-esteem.  This can make children less motivated to engage in positive behaviors, further complicating the situation.  Below, we discuss some of the consequences of over-disciplining autistic children.

Increased Anxiety, Stress, and Problem Behaviors

• Excessive discipline can overwhelm autistic children.  Autistic children may not be able to keep track of a long and complicated list of rules.
• Too many rules can make them feel misunderstood.  Creating rules to steer a child’s behavior without understanding why the child is engaging in certain behaviors can create a disconnect between children and parents.
• Increased stress from too much discipline can exacerbate behavioral issues.

Miscommunication and Misunderstanding 

• Autistic children may struggle to understand the reasons behind extra discipline.  If children are pushed to follow a lot of rules that they don’t understand, they will probably fail to follow those rules.  As a result, when children are disciplined for not following rules they may feel like they are being punished for no reason.
• The heightened level of strictness may cause more confusion and unpredictability for the child.
• Miscommunication can lead to frustration for both the child and the parent, resulting in a negative cycle of behavior and discipline.

Harmful Effects on Self-Esteem 

• Harsh discipline such as frequent punishments can damage a child’s self-esteem and make them feel incapable of meeting expectations
• Constant negative reinforcement such as taking away their favorite toy or activity can decrease their motivation to engage in positive behaviors.

Tips for Disciplining Autistic Children 

When disciplining autistic children, it is important to use strategies that promote positive behaviors. Consistent rules, routines, and boundaries provide a stable environment. The use of visual aids that promote structure and routine teach self-control and help children understand what is expected from them. Also, using positive reinforcement not only encourages good behaviors but it also boosts confidence. Below are some guidelines to use for disciplining autistic children.

Structure and Routine

• Autistic children thrive in environments where routines are clear and consistent.
• Structure and predictable schedules help decrease problem behaviors and make daily transitions smoother.

Consistency

• Consistent rules and clear boundaries teach autistic children about consequences and help them develop self-control.
• Use of visual aids, such as charts or schedules helps autistic children anticipate what is expected from them and reinforce routines.

Positive Reinforcement

• Positive reinforcement encourages desirable behaviors while promoting social development and confidence.
• Focus on rewarding positive behaviors rather than punishing negative behaviors.

It is important to recognize that every autistic child is different and what works for one may not work for another. Be patient and give your child time to adjust to new rules and routines. Please understand that setbacks are part of the learning process and patience is crucial to navigating their unique journey. By being consistent, using positive reinforcement and communicating clearly, parents can create a nurturing environment that helps their child to succeed.

If you need help or fear for safety, contact a local behavioral specialist or healthcare provider.

Article by:  Jessica Charm Watkins and The Autism ToolKit

Sources:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10882-019-09715-y
https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/disciplining-autistic-child/